I was pretty fed-up last week and over the weekend and found myself just getting really discouraged by many things. I was quite seriously considering not bothering to cycle across town and climb the enormous hill to church on Sunday for a morning that I felt would 1. contain a light, probably superficial sermon, 2. songs that wouldn't exactly set my heart alight, 3. that would contain more chat, laugh and food than deep-felt fellowship, consequently making me come away feeling thoroughly disheartened and wondering what the point of church was at all.

Before leaving my house I prayed desperately that God would show me again why I ought to attend church, what the point of it was and so fix up my head and heart to get a right view of it all. I was not hopeful, to put it bluntly, that anything out of the ordinary would happen, or that anything would be different at church. Did I doubt God, or was I just discouraged? I was probably filled with some self-righteousness too and no doubt had a very small perspective of the situation.

So when our first song was 'What a friend we have have in Jesus' auf Deutsch, (bearing in mind we haven't sung this even once in the last 6 months) I had a little chuckle to myself at the utter absurdity of my thoughts and this stronge sense of the ridiculous. Ah yes Lord, you know how to get me where it hurts while bringing a smile to my face.

How can you ignore words like this?:

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

--I'm glad He knows my weaknesses!

God made me realise that it wasn't necessarily the teaching that bound a church (though it is integral in many ways!) nor always the songs and prayers themselves as such. But that on the Lord's Day, to stand and sing, worship God, share the Lord's Supper together and remember how Christ has saved us, is certainly a privilege. A lot of what I felt stemmed also from a lack of love for my brothers and sisters in Christ, which only struck me when after looking around at this room of believers the sudden thought came to me, 'I'll be with these people for eternity'.

So no, the service wasn't filled with theological highs and I must honestly say that the sermon was lacking, but God showed me again (as He faithfully keeps doing!) a glimpse of what it will be like to worship and live in the presence of God for eternity. Church is but a shadow and painting (though a glorious one at that) of what is to come.