The Dawn of Spring

Long, dark, winter months always remind me of C. S. Lewis' winter which covered Narnia, the snows, frost, ice and most of all, the absence of Christmas, being the curse of the wicked white witch.
I love snow.  Even the 3 months of snow I experienced in Göttingen last year were not quite enough to deter me.  Wintry landscapes, particularly those on fresh winter mornings, never cease to take my breath away.  However, there is something quite sad, even tragic about the swift pace at which the sun sets, the curtains are drawn and families retreat into their central-heating warmed homes.  Darkness brings a certain reality to the idyllic. 

We become almost hemmed in and shut up by the perpetual lack of light.  We long, at least to some degree or another, for the coming of sunshine, for Spring, for life and the freedom to leave our homes.  Personally, it is during the winter months that I think more about the realities of life.   For me, summer is always filled with activity.  It is a breath of fresh air, one of freedom to enjoy the air, sun, sea, grass and just life in general, where I freely avoid thinking about harsh realities.  Light and warmth bring a certain kind of freedom which I tend to enjoy and long for during the darkest of months.  In Winter, it sometimes feels like everything is simply decaying and dead.  Even the faintest of birdsong from the either hardy or 'home' birds is sort of bitter-sweet, a relief from the silent landscape yet also a memory of life which has, quite literally, flown away.

It is no wonder then that, for some, depression sets in most easily during Winter when all about us at times seems to be the picture of what we believe our lives to be: fruitless, even pointless.  The trigger for such thinking should not and cannot be trivialised, but I believe that everyone can at least partly sympathise.

No human can function properly in darkness.  It is plain that we need light and warmth, as does every living creature and plant, to live.  But how we also need those darker, wetter, cooler, bleaker months not only to make the comparison clearer, but to actually provide room for hidden growth and a path to a fruitful life.  There is hope just lying under the surface of the frost-hardened ground.  The coming Spring's flowers are benefiting from the cold; Winter is essential for them.

Winter, as well as Spring and Summer months are essential in the Christian life, the former arriving more frequently than the latter.  Yet there is hope during the bleak, long nights.  We have a Saviour who was born to conquer, to drive back the darkness with His right hand and just as He commanded the light to shine forth at the beginning of Creation, so He will pierce the darkness that covers our sinful world with His glory.  Winter can seem hopeless, it can drive us to despair and to morbid thoughts.  Winter remains a God-given reminder of not only His control over creation in providing seasons for the growth of crops, but also of the result of life without Him.  We are reminded of the curse of sin and death because all around us the earth appears to crumble and groan under the weight of darkness and the cold.  Yet, there is hope.  Hope which although formerly invisible, has become visible for anyone who digs a little deeper than the snow-laden surface.

Christmas reminds us that the coming of Jesus is the dawn of Spring.

Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings
Ris'n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Hark the Herald from: www.carols.org.uk

Knowledge is the measure of love

'God knoweth best what is needful for us, and all that He does is for our good.  If we knew how much He loves us, we should always be ready to receive equally and with indifference from His hand the sweet and the bitter.  All would please that came from Him.  That sorest afflictions never appear intolerable, except when we see them in the wrong light.  When we see them as dispensed by the hand of God, when we know that it is our loving Father who abases and distresses us, our sufferings will lose their bitterness and become even matter of consolation.

Let all our employment be to know God; the more one knows Him, the more one desires to know Him.  And as knowledge is commonly the measure of love, the deeper and more extensive our knowing shall be, the greater will be our love; and if our love of God were great, we should love him equally in pains and pleasures.

Let us not content ourselves with loving God for the mere sensible favours, how elevated soever, which He has done or may do us.  Such favours, though never so great, cannot bring is so near to Him as faith does in one simple act.  Let us seek him often by faith.  He is within us; seek Him not elsewhere.  If we do love Him alone, are we not rude, and do we not deserve blame, if we busy ourselves with trifles which do not please and perhaps offend Him?  It is to be feared these trifles will one day cost us dear.

Let us begin to be devoted to him in good earnest.  Let us cast everything besides out of our hearts.  He would possess them alone.  Beg this favour of Him.  If we do what we can on our parts, we shall soon see that change wrought in us which we aspire after.'



From: Practising the presence of God, Brother Lawrence. 15th Letter. (He died shortly after writing this)

Blog revamp

I realise I've been on holiday in blogging-world terms but am in the process of revamping this blog, so please bear with me.

Back on British soil

Well, I'm back (in the UK, that is) which leaves me wondering whether I can really keep on calling this blog 'An Engländerin Abroad' when I'm back on home turf.

After carrying 55 kilos (no, I didn't know I had that much until I arrived at the airport...) on the train to Hannover airport in what at least felt like 30 degree heat, and getting back extra late because our flight was delayed, I felt a bit spaced out when I arrived home on Tuesday evening. It was weird, to say the least, to hear english spoken with a mancunian accent from the air hostesses. Still, it was sort of like warm, homely honey to my ears, without the stickiness.

I'd booked in 40 kilos for my flight, naively believing that I couldn't possibly have more than that after sending 3 parcles back home already. So on learning that I'd have to pay 300 euros for my extra weight I decided to pour my life for the last 9 months out on the floor of Hannover airport. You'll be pleased to read that most of the weight consisted of books...maybe it is time to get a kindle after all. Thankfully I didn't have to throw any of them away as the friend I was travelling with had space in his hand luggage. Clothes and a pair of shoes that I probably won't miss got the bin though as well as some rather useful teaching materials. in the end I had 43 kilos so thae nice lady at the check-in desk, probably sympathising with my haggard, sweaty state, let me off with the few extra kilos. Oh well, it made me realise once more how my life is not reliant on material possessions. How foolish even to think that anything we possess is ours to own by right.

So, 12 kilos lighter my friend and I boarded the tiny flybe plane and jetted off to Manchester. When my parents met us at the airport it felt like I'd only just said goodbye to them. Strange, that feeling that nothing remarkable has changed.

My Mum cried. I'm not sure how I didn't either. My Dad was thrilled. We all trotted off to the car with something like 70 kilos in tow and I with an odd feeling of never actually having been away.

Both my friend and I remarked that it seemed as if we'd stepped out of one world and into another, and we immediately noticed the differences in appearance to what we'd been used to in Göttingen. No, I don't believe Germany is so different to Britain. It's hard to express in some ways, but it just has a different feel, different smells, tastes, houses, fashion, language of course (though with all the anglicisms in German I reckon the Germans practically speak English at least 20 % of the time!!) It'll be even weirder visiting friends at university this weekend, some of whom I haven't seen for a year and being known as 'Mike's sister' or 'oh that Vicky Parsons we told you about'...I'm sure it'll be amusing to meet people who seem to know who I am because they know my brother and my friends, without me having the slightest idea who they are! I suppose I'd better get used to it.

München 1

Munich Town Hall complete with silly silver-painted man, who tried his very best to get my attention; well, as much as a mime stone statue-man is allowed to.

In the Second World War all that was let of the Marienkirche were these two towers. The rest of it was rebuilt post-wartime.

so good to listen to.

A very worried looking, giant stone Bismarck.

Stuttgart 2

So according to whoever created the Märchengarten, the story about David and Goliath is a myth. Basically, Goliath would pop up and tell you he's going to beat you up and then pop back down again. Yeah, that's exactly how I remember the story...ahem.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, lass dein Haar herunter!' so we shouted and so she did!

View of the Rapunzel tower.

Pretty walk way in the gardens around the castle.

Stuttgart 1

At the top of the TV tower with our couchsurfing host.

Antenna at the top.

Ludwigsburg - the prettiest thing about Stuttgart, seriously. It contains the oldest theatre in Europe, which still has the original stage flooring, wings and backdrop. It's also still used for live performances. Oh and Schloss Ludwigsburg also has a Märchengarten(fairy-tale garden)!

Schloss from the back.

Hansel and Gretel house where if you press a button the warty old witch pops her head out the window.

Heidelberg

Just a few from my travels...

This strange brass monkey was at the entrance to the old bridge and there's meant to a funny story about it..which I've forgotten. Oh yeah, and it has a hollow head with human-like features.

View of the old bridge.

Look what I found!

The main street in Heidelberg


B amongst her amazingly well colour-coordinated companions.


View from the castle at evening time.

German students really knew how to make a student prison look cool. Some of the jokes and songs written on the walls about certain professors were pretty fun.

OMF Japan Video

OMF Kanto/Tohoku Earthquake from Mike McGinty on Vimeo.

Gambaro Nippon!

..apparently the slogan for 'stick at it Japan!' But as I've recently been reminded, I still need to pray for Japan, because for all it's seeming ability to get it together and to hold strong in the face of catastrophe there are still millions who are still ensnared by Shintoism:

' “We can do it because we’re Japanese.” Shouldn’t it instead be, “We can’t do it, we need Jesus”?'

Käsekuchen

Today I think I ate enough cake for 3 birthday parties! As it's my last week in school some of my pupils baked some wonderful german cheese cake (which I just have to find out how to make) and marble cake for us all to eat during class. They also gave me a little notebook with kind messages written in and lots of funny german phrases and sayings such as, 'Lügen haben kurze Beine' -'Lies have short legs'! Well, I suppose in a language class you do have to stay marginally on topic...

In the following lesson, my colleague then paid for freshly baked cinnamon and chocolate muffins, and while we all sat around stuffing our faces I talked about some of my experiences here in Germany. It was a good chance for the pupils to understand what it could be like if they decided to spend some time abroad improving their english, and at least for some of them it seemed to help.

English lessons have been particularly fun, especially today when some of the guys started to sing/hum/slur under their breath, 'Danger, danger..high voltage' (yes, you know which one I mean) triggered by an oh-so innocent statement. Ah, yes. I think I'll miss fun times as a 'kein echte Lehrerin', so I've gotten used to explaining! But I must admit that I'm looking forward to studying again, though not the exams of course, and hopefully bringing some great german recipes back home...mmm Käsekuchen may make an appearance at Globe Cafe sometime in the near future...

He died for the depraved.

On Thursday I visited a concentration camp in Nordhausen, just over the old border with the GDR and into north Thüringen. This used to be a working camp where the V2 bomb, responsible for some of the damage during in London and also in Antwerp, was manufactured.

Looking around the place in the bright, hot sunshine, the birds singing and the flowers and grass in bloom it was really difficult to take in that in only the space of the first 7 months about 5000 prisoners lost their lives. Many of them were political prisoners arrested for their affiliation with resistance groups, though there were still quite a few Jews transported there for their skills in engineering as well as many prisoners of war.

The bombs had to be made in work chambers in the heart of one of the hills. 12 hour shifts in temperatures between 0°C and 8°C, plus the damp atmosphere; lack of warm clothing; disease and beatings; prisoners having to watch while others were hanged and left hanging sometimes for hours above their heads while they carried on working underneath the swinging bodies; lack of sleep and the almost daily occurance of waking up to find that you were sleeping on a dead body; just some of the horrible facts I was told. Only if a prisoner was of apparent use to the system by way of his qualifications would he receive marginally better treatment.

The accounts of brutality, executions, pure torture and the sheer death toll were quite emotionally overwhelming. If I was in any doubt at the utter depravity of the human heart I certainly do not doubt it now. True, we're not perhaps as bad as we ever could be, but it's a sobering thought to think that some of the officers had families themselves and were capable of providing a loving and warm home to their own wives and children, all the while either enforcing or inflicting torture upon other fellow men for the sake of a wicked, racist endeavour. Not every officer always conceded of course, though neither did they remain in service long if the Gestapo got a whiff of their 'treachery' to the Nazi regime. However, the fact that the human heart is capable of being so treacherous, so deceitful, evil and contradictory should make us all shudder.

Jeremiah 17:9 says, 'The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?'

The average person, when he hears of incidents on the news, of murders or rapings, of arson or terrorism can't quite believe how or why anyone would do such a thing. Often the only way he tries to explain it is by condemning the perpetrator as particularly evil and so as an almost completely different species to himself. Either way, he tries to distance himself from being classed as evil. He kids himself into thinking that he could never commit something so despicable, so evil.

The scary news of the Bible is that every heart is deceitful, every heart is rotten at the core and desires anything other than to do what is right. I may look on in disbelief and sheer horror at the Nazi crimes of WW2, but I can never say that I, left to my own devices, would never do such a thing. God's Word doesn't let me.

John 2:23-25 says about Jesus, 'Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many believed in his name when they saw the signs that he was doing. But Jesus in his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.'

The same people who believed in his name would soon be shouting for him to be crucified. Jesus is not fooled by notions of good-will, by emotional eagerness, or outward signs of affection and love. He sees right to the core and what He sees He declares as utterly depraved. He doesn't need anyone to tell Him the thoughts and intentions of anyone's heart. He sees the evil of our nature and He condemns it as evil. So in God's sight, without His intervention, His grace, I am just as capable of committing the same despicable crimes as a Nazi officer. Shocking, but true.

But how much more wonderful then are those verses in Romans 5:

'For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
For one will scarcely die for a righteous person -though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Since, therefore, we have now been justified by His blood, much more shall we be saved by Him from the wrath of God.
For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by His life.
More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.' (vv6-11)

Thank God that He does not leave our souls to rot in the stench of evil but that through His Son, through the Spirit working in us, He provides a way for the human heart to be saved, transformed and regenerated to His praise and to His glory.

(Possibly) my most favourite place in Britain.

One my Mum took.

Sunday: Church with an astoundingly encouraging message preached on Luke 24:1-5. Impromptu lunch at a friend's house followed by holiday photos. Two hours playing volleyball in the wonderful sunshine (although I am absolutely rubbish!) Bike ride home in the strangely warm rain and now more food, reading, 'Doctor Who' perhaps, and an early bed.

My parents are hopefully going to get some time away soon in Aberdaron, north Wales where for years we used to holiday in Whit week together as a family. I just love this place and I don't think you can't really appreciate it's beauty until you stay in a tent on a campsite for a week there! Maybe I'm a bit of a romantic as I have so many great memories of Aberdaron, but I think you'll agree, it is a stunningly beautiful place. Late night walks up the Coast Guard hill, in shorts, fleece and windproof while the wind whips around you, a sunset in the west over the Irish Sea and Ynys Enlli (Bardsey) to the south west - not much beats such wonderful, rugged, welsh countryside.

Things I find hard to understand...still.

I was talking to a catholic friend yesterday about predestination and how man's responsibility for his own sin and therfore grace is understood. Or more rightly said, how understanding sin and grace properly actually makes us understand election. No, I don't think I did it very well. In fact, I know I need to get a few things straightened out still with it myself. But one thing that again stuck out at me was how absurd these 5 points seem when built on a completely man-centred foundation.

It's easy to declare that we don't agree with something because it's an infringement of our rights or of our freedom. We do live in an age where human rights are trumpeted from every high hill. Democracy is the word of the age. But what happens when our ideas of God, the Bible, of Jesus Christ for example, don't match up to our own standards of belief? Do we stomp and shout, claiming profusely that 'God is X and therefore wouldn't do that'. Or do we humbly listen and turn to the Word to seek the answer? I do the former a lot and I'm sure I'm not the only christian to have ever done or still to do it. Yet, when we as evangelical christians say 'I believe the Bible to be the Word of God and therefore sufficient in all things for my understanding of Him', are we, deep down, really convinced by what we declare? Are we so convinced and indeed so humbled and utterly in awe that the Lord would even want to communicate with us, that we desire to live according to what He says?

We are hopefully brought up to ask questions, to ask 'why?', 'where's your evidence?' Yet, when a truth is staring us in the face through the Word which begins to turn our whole heads around about our understanding of the gospel, we often don't like it. Or at least, I don't like it. We humans are used to creating our own theology, our own religions, statutes and laws. We like to box things in, tick points off and believe that we've understood it. We've been doing it since the Fall and we're not going to stop now.

I see this time and time again within myself, that there are just some things I cannot understand in the Bible. So called 'contradictions', which if we were measuring God in human terms then they may be, but of course, that really would be ridiculous. Some things, I just have to say 'Lord, I am stupid and I don't understand. I can't see how this works out using my tiny pea-sized amount of brain power! Yet, I read it in your Word and your Word is true.' Believe me, sometimes that's really hard to pray. It's even harder to explain to someone else.

By no means am I saying that we should not try to understand the Word. By all means we should study it, love it, cherish it! But sometimes there really are, even after months, years, even a lifetime of study, that we will just not be able to reconcile within our tiny minds. We do our best to understand because only through His Spirit living in us, by His grace, does He open our minds to understand the Scriptures (Luke 24:45)

He is creator of all knowledge and wisdom. I think I'd do well to just let Him be God.

For the sake of the gospel

A friend of mine from Young Life is having 1700 Bibles delivered to her church tomorrow to be given out to every person in her college over the coming weeks (King George V College, Southport, England) and needs to get a team of willing volunteers together to 'personalise' them, i.e. wrap them individually and address them to each pupil. Please pray for her! She's been collecting the money to do this for quite a while now and has seen such gracious answers to prayer regarding finance. I am astonished at her bravery and thrilled that she has such a heart for the students and teachers in her college so as to give up all of what we might call 'good reputation' for the sake of the gospel.

You can find here facebook page here.

It's going to be one of the those weeks. The crammed full, hectic, spin-your-head-around weeks.

On Thursday I'm off to Rheinland-Pfalz for a weekend residential with my coursemates and some professors from university. It's really just a good chance to catch up with everyone, talk about grammar, translation and the like, as well as get a little more clued up on what will happen when we all get back to university.

Then on Sunday I'll be embarking on a two week trip to south Germany, then to Vienna, and up to Prague, whoooooo! I really can't wait! B and I thought that we'd use our two week easter holiday well and go travelling, seeing as by the time the school term restarts I only have one more month before I fly back to the UK. However, this all means that I really only have today and tomorrow to pack, get bits and pieces of work finished, attempt to finalise my plans for summer - which is going to be difficult seeing as the camp I'll be working on wants details of all the injections I had as a child - and I think I need to somehow get more of the MV website done. I have to give Nachhilfe (after-school help) to a student, lead the GDW Bible study, study japanese.... the list seems endless. Postal vote for the UK referendum... student finance too...ah.

It all just seems to spring up simultaneously! I can't really complain though when I have two weeks to do what I like. Still, I'd appreciate a bit of prayer as I tend to get slightly panicky and even more so as I just can't seem to get any headway with this website due to a lack of french resources. I'm not exactly the best qualified person for the job either and am seeing that now more than ever!

Remember:
'do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.' Philippians 4:6-7

Sinfonie der Herzen

I'm off to a ladies' conference tomorrow wahooo! And it's all in german, wahooo! And I have to be at the train station at 7am...er. A bit of a saturday morning killer I suppose, but I'm sure it'll be worth it. I'm heading off to Bad Gandersheim to the Bible School (Glaubenszentrum) there with my lovely friend Christina. It all sounds pretty good but you can't always tell with these things. The school itself seems pretty charistmatic, or at least it seemed so the last time I was there for a Prayer and Praise evening. But as to where they actually stand on some theological issues, I've yet to discover. It's good timing anyhow what with our GDW studies!

Not in vain.

' 'Therefore (in light of our eventual resurrection), my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.' (1 Corinthians 15:58)

How do we know that our labor in the Lord is not in vain? Because of our bodily resurrection. Just as we will be carried over from the old world to the new, so will our labor. In a sense, not only our bodies but our service for Christ will be resurrected.(...)

Bruce Milne writes, "Every kingdom work, whether publicly performed or privately endeavoured, partakes of the kingdom's imperishable character. Every honest intention, every stumbling word of witness, every resistance of tempatation, every motion of repentance, every gesture of concern, every routine engagment, every motion of worship, every struggle towards obedience, every mumbled prayer, everything, literally, which flows out of our faith-relationship with the Ever-Living One, will find its place in the ever-living heavenly order which will dawn at his coming." '

Randy Alcorn, Heaven, pp.133-134


- Waiting for that imperishable body and that ever-replenishing earth.

Just a thought.

' "I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them; and the peace offerings of your fattened animals, I will not look upon them. Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream." '
Amos 5:22-24

-- God takes injustice seriously therefore so should we. How can we dare to praise His name, to enter into His holy presence while we are oppressing our neighbour? If the Lord had this against His chosen people, Israel, through whom the Messiah would come, how much more could He accuse us, christians, the gloriously redeemed people of God who are blessed to have not seen and yet to have believed, of injustice?
Ignorance is not an excuse.

Out of the ordinary

I love having those really smack-on-the-head obvious divine appointments. You know, when something so out of the ordinary happens or you meet someone in a place and at a time that strikes you as odd and mysteriously planned. So the theological bods will be musing to themselves that everything is kind of a divine appointment anyway. But do you really notice these moments and stand in awe at a God who delights in shaping and crafting the tiniest, (to you) most insignificant parts of your life?

I had one such meeting today. It was an unexpected, path-crossing moment with a friend, which later turned out to be a direct answer to prayer. The words she spoke to me were so to the point, contained a gentle, godly rebuke and yet were also so encouraging. It was like God was speaking clearly and directly to my heart through her mouth, showing me an answer to my prayers this week over a couple of issues that have been on my heart.

It was a humbling experience.

Quiet time snippet

'I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
he has covered me with the robe of
righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself like a
priest with a beautiful headdress,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up,
so the Lord God will cause
righteousness and praise
to sprout up before all the nations.'

Isaiah 61:10-11


'Go through, go through the gates;
prepare the way for the people;
build up, build up the highway;
clear it of stones;
lift up a signal over the peoples.
Behold, the Lord has proclaimed to the end of the earth:
Say to the daughter of Zion,
"Behold, your salvation comes;
behold, his reward is with him."

And they shall be called The Holy People,
The Redeemed of the Lord;
and you shall be called Sought Out,
A City Not Forsaken.'

Isaiah 62:10-12

Sitting outside a cafe this morning and reading these passages was like water for my soul. Certainly, it was an encouragement that I am neither forsaken nor cast off because of my sin. Rather, I am clothed and covered with a garment of perfect, pure righteousness and salvation that is not of my own making. I am no longer uncovered, shamefully naked in my sin and attempting to cover myself with clothes which are nothing more than rags. I am clothed with a robe not woven by my own hands, but threaded, beaded, embroidered and carefully tied around my shoulders by the hands of the Son of God. This is no ordinary robe. It is fit for a priest and for a bride. Yet it is worn by a poor beggar.

He is not even willing that I remain with a plain faith, but that I be beautiful and adorned. And this not only for my own good, but for His righeousness and goodness to bloom like wild flowers before the nations, untamed in their beauty. For the beautifying of the nations and the supreme glorification of the Son.

Countryside snaps

These a few of the pictures I took when I went on a bike ride in late January on a beautifully crisp, sunny day. Who said Germany isn't beautiful?

South of Kiessee looking east.

From the top of the Weir south of Kiessee.

Just LOVE this green :)

Cycle path back towards Göttingen looking northwards.

While I'm in the spirit of catching up on old photos (and because I've got my USB working again, yay!) the next few posts might be lacking on content but will hopefully be a little prettier and interesting than my usual messy ramble.

From my balcony. Early January

My Mum has been sending me such lovely postcards which always cheer me up :) Aren't these pretty?!

And here's my 85 Euro bike (Bike no.2). After one week the dynamo head came off, so that had to be replaced. Whilst in the shop I found out that the wire attached to the front lamp was faulty and needed replacing, so that had to be redone. Then in the second week I fell, quite spectacularly, off my bike after skidding on ice and smashed the front lamp. Then in the third week my chain broke and had to be fixed. I tell you, God gave me A LOT of grace to deal with this and not get angry.

Berlin (2)

Berliner Dom by night

Birds swooping round the Dom at dusk.

Er...find it on wiki... some radio tower and a church whose name escapes me.

No prizes for guessing where this was taken.

Berliner Mauer art.

Berlin- post well overdue (1)

Some snaps I took before christmas (and epically forgot I hadn't put them up) from when I went to Berlin to visit a friend from university.

Somewhere Unter den Linden.

Apologies, this was the best shot of the Brandenburger Tor I could get as it was all cordoned off due to a bomb scare!

N- posing as a lefty left left. The guys we borrowed it from were thrilled!

In the Holocaust Memorial, just to show you how tall those blocks are!

Me posing in front of the British Embassy.

I was pretty fed-up last week and over the weekend and found myself just getting really discouraged by many things. I was quite seriously considering not bothering to cycle across town and climb the enormous hill to church on Sunday for a morning that I felt would 1. contain a light, probably superficial sermon, 2. songs that wouldn't exactly set my heart alight, 3. that would contain more chat, laugh and food than deep-felt fellowship, consequently making me come away feeling thoroughly disheartened and wondering what the point of church was at all.

Before leaving my house I prayed desperately that God would show me again why I ought to attend church, what the point of it was and so fix up my head and heart to get a right view of it all. I was not hopeful, to put it bluntly, that anything out of the ordinary would happen, or that anything would be different at church. Did I doubt God, or was I just discouraged? I was probably filled with some self-righteousness too and no doubt had a very small perspective of the situation.

So when our first song was 'What a friend we have have in Jesus' auf Deutsch, (bearing in mind we haven't sung this even once in the last 6 months) I had a little chuckle to myself at the utter absurdity of my thoughts and this stronge sense of the ridiculous. Ah yes Lord, you know how to get me where it hurts while bringing a smile to my face.

How can you ignore words like this?:

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

--I'm glad He knows my weaknesses!

God made me realise that it wasn't necessarily the teaching that bound a church (though it is integral in many ways!) nor always the songs and prayers themselves as such. But that on the Lord's Day, to stand and sing, worship God, share the Lord's Supper together and remember how Christ has saved us, is certainly a privilege. A lot of what I felt stemmed also from a lack of love for my brothers and sisters in Christ, which only struck me when after looking around at this room of believers the sudden thought came to me, 'I'll be with these people for eternity'.

So no, the service wasn't filled with theological highs and I must honestly say that the sermon was lacking, but God showed me again (as He faithfully keeps doing!) a glimpse of what it will be like to worship and live in the presence of God for eternity. Church is but a shadow and painting (though a glorious one at that) of what is to come.

'The New Church, based on the Old and New Testaments, and the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg, teaches how Jesus saves, consistent with our knowledge of a loving God. (...)The Lord God Jesus Christ saved us by showing us how to live our lives. His entire life on earth was about overcoming evils and temptations, and his death was the conclusion of that struggle.'

'In order to bring the light of truth to the world, God came again. However, this time He did not appear in human form. He came as a new body of revelation given to us through the works of Emanuel Swedenborg, an eighteenth century scientist and theologian. A New Christianity was established in response to these truths, helping to spread God's teachings to people on earth. The New Church is one of many organizations dedicated to Swedenborg Theology.' From: newchurch.org

Er, just another 'christian' site I checked out.

So apparently 'Jesus saved us, not through his death, but through his life. He overcame evil and restored a sense of balance in the world, leaving us in freedom to choose good or evil. He taught us how we should live our lives; in fact he showed us how to do it.'

This site says nothing about man's sin and death as a consequence of sin and being so horrid in the sight of God that it must be punished and justice satisfied (Romans 3) Nor does it say that Jesus died as a punishment for sin (Rom 5:6-8) or of the salvation that comes on believing this, namely that Christ died for the ungodly, for sinners in order to bring them in repentance to God (Rom 5:9-11) and completely ignores grace (Eph 2).

People. Check out these sites and whether or not you can trust them, for the sake of those who are not saved and who look at your blogs and may actually follow these links, believing that they'll find out what the gospel is.

Google adverts

So I was thinking about adding a google advert wotsit to my blog. Before doing so I thought, 'hey, I'll actually click on a few from my friends' blogs, earn them a bit of money and check out the kinds of things google throws up...' Interesting stuff, I'll tell you...

A couple I would NOT recommend and would warn christians against advertising would be: worldtocome.org, or the RCG.org.
By all means check them out. Maybe then you'll be as shocked (or at least just as sad) as I am about the theological errors being taught here. I obviously haven't sifted through the countless videos and so cannot comment on what that particular church thinks about every issue, but the series on how to find the true church and about the gospel made me feel more than a bit uneasy.

Let's just say, unless I can have a little more control over what google sticks up on my blog, I won't be putting that gadget onto my page. And I'd advise others to be a little more cautious too.

Authority and Submission

On authority and submission within the trinity, from Sharon James' book, 'God's Design For Women':

'To dislike patterns of authority and submission (whether in the family or church or society) implies that we dislike a pattern that is intrinsic to the beauty and glory of God himself.'

Ouch.
That one hit me hard today.

I found out recently that the word for submission in german is 'Unterwerfung' or 'Unterordnung', the former immediately conjuring up, in my mind at least, this horrid picture of throwing a woman under a bus or something. Hm, so not exactly a positive picture...

Yet although we had some qualms about the helper-role of women at first, what really shed new light onto the submission and helper qualities was the understanding of God being named as the 'Helper' and of this characteristic as being a godly one. This is not a helper who is second rate or who is a second class citizen. Rather a helper who plays an essential role in order for the work to be carried out properly.

I think I'm far from understanding all of this but hopefully when we meet again on Sunday evening to cover some texts in John that deal with this issue of authority and submission within the trinity, things will become a little more tangible.

It's funny as I rather thought I'd gotten a lot of this sorted out within my own mind and heart. Oh how wrong you can be.

God's Design For Women

Last night was our first meeting of 'God's Design For Women'. As the books only arrived yesterday afternoon I didn't really have time to prepare anything and so the meeting was really a chance for us to discuss how we wanted our meetings to run and what material we wanted to cover week by week. Reading through the introduction together raised a few questions too which we heartily discussed.

The only problem I see that could possibly arise is over language issues. We'll be doing the Bible Study in english and german, mainly reading in english and speaking german though I reckon we'll probably switch between the two.

When I think of how this all came about I actually find it quite astonishing that I now seem to be hosting, organising and partly leading this string of studies on biblical womanhood! Let's just say I'm more than glad that the material and questions are already prepared! God inspired and used conversations I have had over the last few weeks to make up a group of six women who are eager to learn what it means to live as godly women in this age. It is just so thrilling to see God working and bringing things so perfectly together! I know that I am inadequate and weak but to see God still desiring to work through me is just incredible.

I think it's also now that I'm realising just what spiritual need there is here among women in Germany. Womanhood, according to how God has defined it, just doesn't seem to be being talked about at church, or if it is, I get the feeling from talking to some of my friends that the teaching tends to either be insufficient and never really gets to the heart of feminine issues, or is biased toward societal beliefs. So please pray for us as we meet up over the next few weeks, that we'd have open minds and hearts to receive what the Bible says about how we ought to live.

Schokolade bitte!!

Why is it that the chocolate section in the supermarket is about 3 times bigger than the aisle for anything else?! It's terrible. Not only is it massive, sporting a phenomenal range of sweet, fattening goodies but it's usually placed strategically just before you get to the till... save me. These last two weeks I've been craving chocolate like mad! I have no idea what's happening to me. It's a good job I cycle everywhere.

It says something about our consumerist culture though I think when the cheaper and more plentiful goods are such things as chocolate. I can actually buy a pack of biscuits for less than a bag of carrots!

It's also often the food stuff women turn to (that and Ben and Jerry's) when we're feeling a bit down and need a pick-me-up. Funny that eh, that we complain about being fat but when we're miserable we turn to things that will most probably make us even fatter. What a cycle!

Chocolate seems to be the accepted drug almost, even amongst christians. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against eating chocolate pudding on Sunday! I think the problem is more that we eat far too much of it and I place myself on the guilty, first row. We binge and tell ourselves the excuse that it's Sunday, we've worked hard all week and so deserve a plate-full that could feed half of the African continent. Ok, yes, men eat more. Fact. I do have a brother and so am not ignorant of these things, but why is it deemed ok (sometimes even healthy) for a man to gorge himself at the dinner table, whereas a lady is often deemed to be unladylike if she takes a second helping? (Yes, I do frequently take a second helping) 'He's a growing lad': ever heard that one before?

Ok, so I do find it all quite humourous how my family especially -my other Grandma particularly when she was still alive- is bent on keeping me and my brother well fed. Whether I've been eating well enough is usually one of the first questions I'm asked when I come home.

Self-control though should be one of the marks of our salvation, yet I fear it is in this area that we most often fall down (she types while munching on a choccie biscuit that goes rather nicely with her cup of tea) You see the problem? I love chocolate. I love refined sugar. A little bit of what you fancy does you good apparently, the problem is it's usually quite a bit more than a little. There's the perfect snack for every occasion; the tit-bit biscuit you can dip into your tea or the crunchy snack bar perfect for slipping into your hand bag when you're on the go. The list of chocolate or sugar based snacks is endless and, more than that, there is an abundance of amazing chocolate here in Germany!

Who could resist such things as Kinder Riegel bars?


This website is also rather amusing: http://kinderriegel.de/
Now I have a greater excuse for eating them! Not only are the adverts really cute but it's got milk in it, right?

Hauskreis

In about an hour I'll be off to house group and will be leading the Bible Study on Romans 3. Amazingly I don't feel nervous about it and I can only see that as answer to prayer. I'm not wholly convinced that what I've prepared is going to be awe inspiring, but I trusted God when I started it and still trust Him now to challenge the hearts of those in my house group, particularly as we're dealing with the righteousness of God and our justification. Please pray that this would be a God-centred study and that we wouldn't get side-tracked. We desperately need to understand what it means for our hearts to be totally depraved and how and why such a righteous God should choose to make such sinful people righteous in Christ. Pray for a deeper and more God-glorifying understanding of the gospel in all of us.

'For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith.' Romans 3:22-25

I read this gem of a verse recently, which I then forgot to post:

'Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.' 1 Peter 2:11

I was doubting a lot of things at this point. I was uncertain of much concerning God and felt very distant from Him. It then struck me reading this that there were certain things that I was, or perhaps had been involved in, which were waging war against my soul and thus contributing to my doubting and general contempt.

How blind I am in spiritual things. I find myself very unwise when it comes to discerning between what is allowed and also good for my soul, and what is also allowed but not necessarily wholesome. The passions of the flesh, in whatever form they come, are juicy and tempting. They bring temporary pleasure but equally a knawing, spiritual ache. It shouldn't be 'how far can I go before I sin,' but rather, 'how far can I stay away'! The trouble is, I often don't think like that, or am unaware of the dangers because I don't pray for guidance. Reading through Joshua has highlighted the importance of complete and utter consecration to God and how prayer is so vital before everything that I do. I think perhaps the first question I ask should be, 'what does God say?', rather than, 'what does corrupt, blind Vicky say?' All too often I have the final word on what I say and do.

I think I often also abuse the freedom I have in Christ. Yet the following verse exhorts me to do otherwise.

'Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.' 1 Peter 2:16

And why should I do this?

...because I am now no longer living in ignorance of God or of His plan of salvation, and therefore should not be conformed to the passions of my former ignorance, but rather live as I am called, which is to be holy as God is holy.

...because I am a 'living stone' 'being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices to God through Jesus Christ.' I have been grafted into a body, a people, a nation over which God says 'Mine!' I am no longer my own person, but am rather constrained by the love of Christ to 'proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.'

...because I have received mercy.

...because those who are not saved will look on and, even though they may condemn you, 'may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.'

...because I am called to 'be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution'. I am called to bless my nation, my rulers, my government, my neighbours, even when they hate me for it, for God's sake.

In short, I am called to use this freedom wisely so that God is glorified the most. I am not constrained by a law that beats me to a pulp until I call to His throne room whimpering just hoping to be able to plead for some of His grace and mercy. I am constrained rather by a law of love, that makes me humbly bow before a God who righteously condemns sin and who would be in the right if He should choose to destroy me for my own sin, which so offends Him, and yet who declares me free, forgiven and living because I am in Christ Jesus. What a gracious, patient, wise and loving God we have. I'm continually amazed by His wisdom.

Books Galore

I've recently been inspired to read more after checking out the latest three TGC interviews with some prominent church leaders, christian thinkers and writers on what their reading habits are.

I used to love reading at school. I remember the time at primary school when I had gone through the twenty or so book-reading list that my teacher had given me and through all the books in our small year 5 library in less than half a term. I never read because I was forced to read. I loved it. I loved the way the stories gripped me, sucking me into their world and the inventiveness of the author in creating all sorts of strange plot twists and turns.
And then I got a life... well I actually just grew up, became interested in other things; started to learn to play the piano, took more dancing lessons, made more friends and also discovered that I just loved to be outside and doing things rather sitting down to read; and school got harder, I received more homework, had more revision to do, tough exams to sit and plenty of core reading material to chew on, so unfortunately I read a lot less.

I found it often so at university that after a long day (especially after the trek onto campus and back from Leamington Spa!) and after reading for pretty much the whole day, that I couldn't bear to turn my eyes and hands to open another book, even if it was just for pleasure. I also experienced the dangers of getting caught up in reading by feeling so utterly consumed by the volume of it. It became a chore, probably because I was forced to read; it was a requirement.

So here's the funny thing. Now that I am not obliged to read anything (well, ok so the Bible is a must really) I find myself very, very content to sit for hours and read a book. I don't get bored, tired or even resentful because I am not forced to sit there. I am doing it because I want to do it. Oh how that rebellious streak comes out in such weird ways. It's the same with quiet times. I will do them, but not when someone tells me I have to do them. I'll wash-up, clean, cook...but not when someone is forcing me to do it there and then, or at least I will do it but I will become resentful. How ridiculous that attitide is not to mention how far from being Christ exalting!

Anyway, these three interviews are quite interesting in the way that these three different men approach reading. Fred Sanders, I think, is very wise in being strategic in what he reads and in deciding beforehand which texts he will deal with. I feel this is especially useful:

'It’s especially important to keep your wits about you like this in reading theology. Oswald Chambers asked himself, “In my study, am I a woolgatherer, or like a man looking for his Lord?” Attention is a precious commodity: we pay it. We should pay it well, with the right currency for the right books.

By the way, this need for pre-deciding about your level of reading commitment is one of the reasons that our new and emerging habits of reading online are dangerous. When we’re browsing and scrolling and following links, we tend to make all those decisions about attention with less reflection. We tend to make them with our eyeballs, fingers, and central nervous system. These technologies make it easier and easier to fall into bestowing our limited reading time on things that don’t deserve it.'

...hm, I guess I'm guilty of that! It is definitely one of the reasons why even now I am probably not reading as much as I could. I spend too much time on the internet reading things that I have stumbled across, which yes could be interesting and even quite edifying, but which often simply diminish the time I have to sit down and actually do some self-prescribed reading! Technology has made it easier to impart knowledge but it has likewise made it easier to ignore wisdom. Only the most disciplined can really stay afloat and not fritter away precious time -which is very short (1 Cor 7:29)

I think the above quote could also be applied to university studies. It is very easy when preparing for seminars to simply read the prescribed material without guarding your mind and heart first. Only last year did I realise the folly of firstly not praying before I engage with a text (christian or secular), and secondly how quickly the tally of time I spent on reading secular, philosophical texts soon outweighed daily Bible reading, and believe me, that began to take it's toll on my mind and soul!

Our eyes, ears, mouths, hearts and minds all need to be guarded well and this only comes by feasting daily on God's revealed truth: 'Your Word have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against you.' Psalm 119:11. By having the Word in our hearts constantly, not only is our conscience pricked thus deterring us from sinning, but we have in our minds the things of God, those 'higher things' that we are told to keep our minds on. I believe then we begin to see other texts in the light of God's glorious wisdom and so are thus more able to weigh up the text's worth, how much (or little) of the truth and of Christ is displayed, and whether or not it is edifying to the reader and so worth our time.

So the books I'm currently/have just finished reading/on my reading list are:

Franz Kafka, Die Verwandlung (The Metamorphosis). --Very interesting read. Reading up a bit on Kafka was pretty interesting too! Thank you Warwick University for Research Pro.

John Piper, Think -The Life of the Mind and the Love of God

Eberhard Bethge, Bonhoeffer -- so I reckoned it was about time I read up on this guy seeing as I am in Germany and everyone at church seems to be talking about him!

James G. McCarthy, The Gospel According to Rome.

Rainer Moritz, Madame Cottard und eine Ahnung von Liebe -- this is quite an easy read novel that was a christmas pressie from a colleague. There's a publisher called Piper here (in massive white letters), which really confused me at first; no points for guessing why.

Randy Alcorn, Heaven --yes. I am still reading this book! It's quite dense to be fair and so it's not exactly a pocket-guide heaven travel book that I can skip around town with. Still, it is making me think :)

Yet to read...
Nietzsche, Also sprach Zarathustra -- both names I find incredibly difficult to spell! This was a hard-back gem that I picked up in Leipzig for less than 5 Euros, woop!

Balzac, Le pere Goriot - started and got bored so must return to it at some point. I got bored probably because the french was a bit of a chore...

Helen Roseveare, Digging Ditches.

Faith Cook, Lady Jane Grey

Werner Gitt, Zeit und Ewigkeit and FRAGEN.

* My aim is to finish at least all of these books before returning to the UK in June (where I have yet more books on my impending waiting-to-be-read-getting-dusty-on-the-shelves reading list)... hehe it means I can post them and not go over the 40 kilos at the airport and still keep my books!!

Prayer works.

Sunday has been coming around quick the last few weeks! I feel like I haven't quite had time to sit down this week and think because everything has been so mashed up and a little chaotic. Still, there are lots of things worth mentioning.

This week has shown me just how much more I need to pray and have faith when praying. The outreach I did with my 2 friends yesterday in town was so encouraging! We prayed a lot about it individually and together as we were pretty anxious about the whole thing. The thing that made it harder was the fact that we felt so alone in the work. Well God had an answer to that too.

As we were making our way down the main street in Göttingen looking for a place to set up and sing, we bumped into a couple of people my friend knew from a local church. When we explained what we were going to do they thought it was a great idea, said that they would go back to their church to get some Bibles, tracts and books and that they'd come back and help us!! The whole thing was so clearly orchestrated by God, it was wonderful. God knew the desires of our hearts and what would encourage us. Just that we would meet other christians on the way who were not bothered in the slightest at giving up their afternoon of shopping to come help us, was a divine appointment. Up to this day I have seriously underestimated the power of prayer. I hope I don't do that any longer. I'm very, very glad I watched Francis Chan's talk on prayer.

My voice got progressively worse yesterday but God graciously made it hold out until we'd finished. I couldn't sing but I could speak and for that I was grateful... and it meant couldn't get out of it! Standing in the middle of a busy street and handing out christian literature helped very much to crucify my pride but it also kindled such deep joy in my heart at being able to converse in german about the gospel, which certainly was such an answer to prayer.

One person I particularly remember was a teenage boy who simply walked up to me, asked me a few questions as to why my friends were singing christian songs in the street and even wanted to give me money for a few tracts! It turns out that he's not saved but he has a lot of christian friends who have often brought him to church. He is really searching for God. His name is Robert, please pray for him.

-----

I was invited to lunch this afternoon with a group called Studentenfutter, a church which the people who helped us yesterday attend. I'd heard varying reports about them and didn't quite know what to expect. However I was very warmly welcomed, had some great conversations with the people I met and will hopefully get involved in some of their street evangelism with them.

Something that really struck me was their love for others. They have a real burden to share the gospel with those living in Göttingen and it really shows. What I find sad however is that there seems to have been some kind of disagreement with the other local churches some years ago, which has resulted in some bad feeling or at least some wariness between them all.

However, it doesn't seem to matter to which church I go to, there seems to be this underlying current of competition. It's in the way people express the differences of their church over and against the other churches. I've heard some of this stuff even in sermons as well as in general conversation. I understand some of it; people don't like to be associated with something they don't agree with and they're often desirious to know that they're in the 'right church'. But I must admit that I don't really see a whole lot of difference between them all especially when it comes to mission. Sure, they have different worship styles, some preach for longer, some for less, some have bigger congregations and great youth work, others are struggling a bit more. However, when it comes to outreach in the town there seems to be a real reluctance amongst christians to do something eternally worthwhile and the sad thing about that is that it's widespread. I'm sure it's the same in the UK too, maybe it's just a little more obvious here to me.

Perhaps some of it has to do with a lack of teaching on evangelism and mission being related to an action verb; 'going'. Some will be down to a lack of 'leading by example' from some of the church leaders. Still, some believers may be plainly disobeying God, whereas others may never have even thought about the issue. Others will be quite comfortable at church and believe that church events and the occasional invitation handed out is all that's required of them concerning mission. I have seen/experienced all of the above in my own heart as well. Mission or even just local evangelism is easy to put off, even easier to think that someone else will do it or that someone else still is better qualified. I can't point the finger at all as I've done the same myself. God, however, has greatly (and graciously) challenged me on this over the last few years. I do find it sad however that the situation seems to be so with a lot of christians. Another point for prayer.

Given the numerous lessons in prayer I've had/heard this week, I guess I don't have an excuse for not praying!