I sometimes wonder whether God really knows what He's doing. Don't you? Or, rather I should perhaps rephrase that. I often have no idea why God is doing what He is doing -most probably because I am not very holy, nor very godly, nor at all wise- and therefore doubt whether there is really a point to what I am doing.
I hesitate in writing this because I fear I may be misunderstood. But what is it then that I really doubt about God? Do I not believe in providence? Do I not believe that He has a work of some sort for me to do? Does His Word not say that He has promised to bring that good work He has started in me to completion at the day of Christ? Does He also not say that He is faithful and just to forgive me when I confess my sin and fling myself on Christ?
I know this. I explain it to others. I read it daily and thank the Lord for it. But in truth, I actually live very little of this out. The old struggle between head and heart rears its ugly head.
The thing with having head and heart knowledge is that you can't have one without the other, or you're in danger of swinging to extremes. The one being a wishy-washy, lovey-dovey, touchy-feely relationship with God that has neither evidential basis, nor stamina, nor discipline. This thrives in showing the world how to love, but does not give a reason for it, meaning that this kind of relationship flounders at the first rock, pit or wave and leaves the believer lost at sea in a storm of doubt and disbelief. The other is stern, often cold, distant, so intellectual that only intellectuals (or those who think they're intellectuals) are attraced to it; and because it demands little in the way of practical application it can be followed without the believer really having to change his or her attitude, thus creating an unloving follower. In both extremes, I think the believer becomes despondant about their relationship with God and so ineffective in true gospel witness.
Those are pretty wild extremes! I hope neither myself, nor anyone I know, will ever reach such dreadful extremes. But I recognise both struggles within myself. It is difficult if not impossible in this life as a sinner to remain on the middle line, so using both heart and mind for the glory of God.
Wednesday 29 September 2010
Saturday 25 September 2010
Language geek.
I had my first japanese lesson yesterday, which was fun and profoundly interesting, but also fairly difficult!! Due to the whole learning another different 'alphabet' (ok- characters) I feel like I'm about 3 and learning how to read again! It's all greek... or japanese to me.
I think since meeting japanese students at university through the international work with the CU, I've become more and more interested in East Asia. I can't even really explain it properly but the prospect of learning either chinese or japanese has been tempting me for quite a while. So, they're not the easiest languages to learn -probably the understatement of the year- but from what I can see japanese sees to be 'slightly' easier because there isn't so much tonal work when pronouncing the words.
The course is apparently 'intesiv', as the hungarian teacher told me, who's accent has a strange rolling but soft-spoken quality to it, meaning that I have to listen very carefully when he speaks german. No doubt it is brilliant german listening practise and because it is all translated into german it means I have to use my brain even more, whoop! I never thought I would actually relish study this much.
But well, a bit of the old german vocab learning is calling me hither on this rather grey, saturday afternoon. There's at least one good thing with starting to study an east asian language though... you can't get any of it mixed up with german!
I think since meeting japanese students at university through the international work with the CU, I've become more and more interested in East Asia. I can't even really explain it properly but the prospect of learning either chinese or japanese has been tempting me for quite a while. So, they're not the easiest languages to learn -probably the understatement of the year- but from what I can see japanese sees to be 'slightly' easier because there isn't so much tonal work when pronouncing the words.
The course is apparently 'intesiv', as the hungarian teacher told me, who's accent has a strange rolling but soft-spoken quality to it, meaning that I have to listen very carefully when he speaks german. No doubt it is brilliant german listening practise and because it is all translated into german it means I have to use my brain even more, whoop! I never thought I would actually relish study this much.
But well, a bit of the old german vocab learning is calling me hither on this rather grey, saturday afternoon. There's at least one good thing with starting to study an east asian language though... you can't get any of it mixed up with german!
Friday 24 September 2010
Gentle rebuke.
Well, I've come to the end of another week-my fourth in Germany! And I have to say that I have been humbled by how God has taken care of so much, even the things that I didn't really think or pray about but which He knew I needed.
So often I categorise my prayers. I begin mostly talking about ME. 'Lord, I really don't like/understand what's going on. Please could you change the situation?'. 'Lord, I have this humongous, fat, juicy problem that is really stopping ME from doing what I want. Please make it go away!' 'Lord, I realise that you want to deal with me first, that's why I'm not spending as much time praying for others.'- notice the justification for being selfish!
Ok, so it's not that God doesn't care about me, because it is right that I take my petitions to Him. I need to keep short accounts with the Lord so that I don't lose my joy in Christ because of sin that's not been dealt with. Neither do I want to become spiritually dry and so simply go through the motions, because I've neglected spending time in the quiet just speaking with God. Nor is it right that I keep things from the Lord that really are burdening me and feel heavy. Doesn't the Lord say that He will give us rest from our burdens and peace in Him when we do bring our petitions before Him? Matthew 11:28-30. In fact, Philippians 4:6-7 has been in my mind almost every day since arriving in Germany and starting out afresh.
'do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus.'
How amazing is that 'peace which surpasses all understanding'!!
Yet, as a woman who still sins and is still very selfish at heart I have felt the Lord gently rebuking me this week. I had a chat to my Dad on the phone yesterday who updated me on family stuff, church, friends, neighbours etc. I was very saddened by some of the news, some of which was about people I've known for a long time. Other bits and bobs were good to hear, some was interesting, and of course hearing of my brother's tendency to forget important things was rather amusing for me as his sister...
But what I really felt God hitting home to me was how easy it is to become very self-centred in thoughts and prayers. I easily justify only praying for myself. I admit, and shamefully so, that it can be a chore to pray for others or at least even to remember to pray for others! That's how selfish the human heart is!
But that verse in Philippians, as always, is not just to be lifted out and cherished as a justification for personal and selfish prayer. In only 2:3-4 it says, 'Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.' Why? Because Christ 'humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross' 2v8. If Christ looked to the interests of others in the ultimate sense, in dying for unworthy sinners to cleanse, heal and justify them, then I, for the very fact that I am now saved by what Jesus has done, ought to have the same mind and the same heart.
I confess, I fail miserably. But I do believe that the first step on the road to actively doing things for others out of a motivation of love, is by first praying for them. I thank God that He is showing me how selfish I am so that I can confess this sin and be changed by the work of the Holy Spirit.
On a more practical level, there is now a sheet of paper stuck to my wall where I write down those who are in need of prayer. I always think it good to have practical application so I am hopeful that this little but simple aid will help to focus my mind more on the needs of others!
So often I categorise my prayers. I begin mostly talking about ME. 'Lord, I really don't like/understand what's going on. Please could you change the situation?'. 'Lord, I have this humongous, fat, juicy problem that is really stopping ME from doing what I want. Please make it go away!' 'Lord, I realise that you want to deal with me first, that's why I'm not spending as much time praying for others.'- notice the justification for being selfish!
Ok, so it's not that God doesn't care about me, because it is right that I take my petitions to Him. I need to keep short accounts with the Lord so that I don't lose my joy in Christ because of sin that's not been dealt with. Neither do I want to become spiritually dry and so simply go through the motions, because I've neglected spending time in the quiet just speaking with God. Nor is it right that I keep things from the Lord that really are burdening me and feel heavy. Doesn't the Lord say that He will give us rest from our burdens and peace in Him when we do bring our petitions before Him? Matthew 11:28-30. In fact, Philippians 4:6-7 has been in my mind almost every day since arriving in Germany and starting out afresh.
'do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus.'
How amazing is that 'peace which surpasses all understanding'!!
Yet, as a woman who still sins and is still very selfish at heart I have felt the Lord gently rebuking me this week. I had a chat to my Dad on the phone yesterday who updated me on family stuff, church, friends, neighbours etc. I was very saddened by some of the news, some of which was about people I've known for a long time. Other bits and bobs were good to hear, some was interesting, and of course hearing of my brother's tendency to forget important things was rather amusing for me as his sister...
But what I really felt God hitting home to me was how easy it is to become very self-centred in thoughts and prayers. I easily justify only praying for myself. I admit, and shamefully so, that it can be a chore to pray for others or at least even to remember to pray for others! That's how selfish the human heart is!
But that verse in Philippians, as always, is not just to be lifted out and cherished as a justification for personal and selfish prayer. In only 2:3-4 it says, 'Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.' Why? Because Christ 'humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross' 2v8. If Christ looked to the interests of others in the ultimate sense, in dying for unworthy sinners to cleanse, heal and justify them, then I, for the very fact that I am now saved by what Jesus has done, ought to have the same mind and the same heart.
I confess, I fail miserably. But I do believe that the first step on the road to actively doing things for others out of a motivation of love, is by first praying for them. I thank God that He is showing me how selfish I am so that I can confess this sin and be changed by the work of the Holy Spirit.
On a more practical level, there is now a sheet of paper stuck to my wall where I write down those who are in need of prayer. I always think it good to have practical application so I am hopeful that this little but simple aid will help to focus my mind more on the needs of others!
Sunday 19 September 2010
a small and probably incoherant thought!
I've been greatly encouraged reading 1 and 2 Chronicles in my quiet times recently and so thought I'd share a few of the things I feel God has been laying on my heart.
1 Chronicles 29. v1 'Soloman my own son, whom alone God has chosen, is young and inexperienced, and the work is great, for the palace will not be for man but for the Lord God.'
David is not airy-fairy about the fact that building a temple for the Lord of the universe is hard. He is realistic. Soloman is young and fairly inexperienced as a leader. He is yet to ask for wisdom from God and up until this chapter we know relatively little about his spiritual character. All we know is that David had it on his heart to build a temple for the worship of the Lord, so he has gathered materials and prepared workers with which Solomon can start off the building work.
Yet, the fact that Soloman is young and inexperienced doesn't seem to be the main reason for why the work is difficult. Often, as christians we think that the work the Lord has given us to do is tough because we face great adversity in carrying out what the world despises. We find it hard because we are persecuted, physically, mentally and/or spiritually; because our work colleagues, friends, even family forsake us; because we would quite simply rather have an easier life doing something that we enjoy far more; because we'd rather be in a different location with better or more suitable weather; because we don't like the people we will have to carry out the work with or for; because we feel inexperienced or lacking in tact and skill.
These things are most often why we may feel the work is tough, and most of them are real enough reasons! But here, the stress is on the fact that the 'palace will not be for man but for God'. The work is great because of who it is done for.
Often I foolishly think think that it's the other way around. I feel far more pressure to do the work (whatever that may be) well for other people rather than for God! Yet when the God of the universe chooses you to do a particular task, despite (or maybe because of) youth, inexperience, lack of skills or knowledge, lack of personal qualities such as patience etc, we are expected to do it willingly.
Willingness to give to the Lord's work is more important than an abundance of skills and abilities, and far more important than a lack of them! vv14-15 show this, yet of course we are sinful. We may never willingly want to complete the task God has set before us. That is why David prays in vv18-19 for God to 'keep such purposes and thoughts in the hearts of the people.' The only way that they can offer 'freely and joyously' (v17), is by God's grace working in and through them. That is why in v19 the prayer given for Soloman is that he would have a whole heart, that he would have no division or idolatry within his heart but that he would be completely consecrated to the work and so 100% committed. Even in the previous chapter David makes a point of reminding Soloman exactly who he is working for and therefore how indeed he should work:
'And you, Soloman my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches the hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him , he will cast you off forever. Be careful now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary; be strong and do it.'
The only way we can carry out the work for the Lord both well and willingly is when we realise who it is we are truly working for, thus throwing ourselves upon God's goodness and asking Him to change us.
1 Chronicles 29. v1 'Soloman my own son, whom alone God has chosen, is young and inexperienced, and the work is great, for the palace will not be for man but for the Lord God.'
David is not airy-fairy about the fact that building a temple for the Lord of the universe is hard. He is realistic. Soloman is young and fairly inexperienced as a leader. He is yet to ask for wisdom from God and up until this chapter we know relatively little about his spiritual character. All we know is that David had it on his heart to build a temple for the worship of the Lord, so he has gathered materials and prepared workers with which Solomon can start off the building work.
Yet, the fact that Soloman is young and inexperienced doesn't seem to be the main reason for why the work is difficult. Often, as christians we think that the work the Lord has given us to do is tough because we face great adversity in carrying out what the world despises. We find it hard because we are persecuted, physically, mentally and/or spiritually; because our work colleagues, friends, even family forsake us; because we would quite simply rather have an easier life doing something that we enjoy far more; because we'd rather be in a different location with better or more suitable weather; because we don't like the people we will have to carry out the work with or for; because we feel inexperienced or lacking in tact and skill.
These things are most often why we may feel the work is tough, and most of them are real enough reasons! But here, the stress is on the fact that the 'palace will not be for man but for God'. The work is great because of who it is done for.
Often I foolishly think think that it's the other way around. I feel far more pressure to do the work (whatever that may be) well for other people rather than for God! Yet when the God of the universe chooses you to do a particular task, despite (or maybe because of) youth, inexperience, lack of skills or knowledge, lack of personal qualities such as patience etc, we are expected to do it willingly.
Willingness to give to the Lord's work is more important than an abundance of skills and abilities, and far more important than a lack of them! vv14-15 show this, yet of course we are sinful. We may never willingly want to complete the task God has set before us. That is why David prays in vv18-19 for God to 'keep such purposes and thoughts in the hearts of the people.' The only way that they can offer 'freely and joyously' (v17), is by God's grace working in and through them. That is why in v19 the prayer given for Soloman is that he would have a whole heart, that he would have no division or idolatry within his heart but that he would be completely consecrated to the work and so 100% committed. Even in the previous chapter David makes a point of reminding Soloman exactly who he is working for and therefore how indeed he should work:
'And you, Soloman my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches the hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him , he will cast you off forever. Be careful now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary; be strong and do it.'
The only way we can carry out the work for the Lord both well and willingly is when we realise who it is we are truly working for, thus throwing ourselves upon God's goodness and asking Him to change us.
Friday 10 September 2010
A Tune! and extract from what I've been reading...
Stille, mein Wille! Dein Jesus hilft siegen;
Trage geduldig das Leiden, die Not;
Gott ist's, der alles zum Besten will fügen,
Der dir getreu bleibt in Schmerzen und Tod.
Stille, mein Wille! Dein Jesus wird machen
Glücklichen Ausgang bedenklicher Sachen.
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to joyful end.
Katharina von Schlegel 1752. Trans. Jane Borthwick 1855.
'It is not necessary to be a linguist, anthropologist, theologian or even evangelist to qualify as a missionay. A willingness to laugh at yourself and flow with sometimes unpleasant surroundings is more important than degrees, special skills or natural talents. As with all of us, God is not so concerned with our ability as He is our availability.' Larry Dinkins, Help! My Halo's Slipping, (1990) pp.178-9
Trage geduldig das Leiden, die Not;
Gott ist's, der alles zum Besten will fügen,
Der dir getreu bleibt in Schmerzen und Tod.
Stille, mein Wille! Dein Jesus wird machen
Glücklichen Ausgang bedenklicher Sachen.
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to joyful end.
Katharina von Schlegel 1752. Trans. Jane Borthwick 1855.
'It is not necessary to be a linguist, anthropologist, theologian or even evangelist to qualify as a missionay. A willingness to laugh at yourself and flow with sometimes unpleasant surroundings is more important than degrees, special skills or natural talents. As with all of us, God is not so concerned with our ability as He is our availability.' Larry Dinkins, Help! My Halo's Slipping, (1990) pp.178-9
Tuesday 7 September 2010
Japan
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-11219492
Very sad. Surely this should make we who have the gospel desire even more fervently to take this message of life to those who are dying in their sin.
Death is not simply an economic problem that is solved by extra funds being plowed into the economy. Nor is depression so wholly emotional that a 'minimum level of happiness' can be achieved by using the right techniques in psychotherapy.
Death is unnatural to the immortal soul. There is no rest or peace in death, if when living, life was not lived to the full, that is, life knowing Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour; an intimate, personal and joyful relationship with God for which we were created and so find fulfillment in.
Economic structures and awareness campaigns neither bring life nor the desire to live. Only the life-giver, Jesus Christ, can give that.
Romans 10:14,15
How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'
Very sad. Surely this should make we who have the gospel desire even more fervently to take this message of life to those who are dying in their sin.
Death is not simply an economic problem that is solved by extra funds being plowed into the economy. Nor is depression so wholly emotional that a 'minimum level of happiness' can be achieved by using the right techniques in psychotherapy.
Death is unnatural to the immortal soul. There is no rest or peace in death, if when living, life was not lived to the full, that is, life knowing Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour; an intimate, personal and joyful relationship with God for which we were created and so find fulfillment in.
Economic structures and awareness campaigns neither bring life nor the desire to live. Only the life-giver, Jesus Christ, can give that.
Romans 10:14,15
How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'
Changing rooms eat your heart out.
This time two weeks ago I had arrived in Germany and was staying with my tutor. I can't believe how much has happened in such a short space of time- found a flat, moved in, been to Cologne and back, done some 'study', opened a bank account, signed my life away on contracts, got a landline, internet, been to school (and actually taught a lesson!!), met so many people that I can't remember all their names, met the former english language assistant, and done so much walking I think I could have hiked up Everest by now!
Oh but the food is great! Well, it takes me a while to make my way around the supermarket because there's so many nice and shiny things, or interesting names for things like 'baking powder' (Backpulver if you're interested). Trouble is I couldn't remember it when I went to the shop this evening so I fruitlessly scanned the aisles. But it certainly makes shopping fun!
The only thing that was slightly confusing was the european shoe and clothes' size, which meant I had to try on a million coats before I found the right size. 20 minutes later, like a typical woman some would say, I left the shop still without a coat. Indecision, we've all been there.
School is fun. Maybe that's just because I'm not a pupil! I participated in a banking class yesterday, just going around and checking work. The students have a few lessons a week on the theory of banking and also learn business english, which even I found hard, and then they spend a month or so I think on a placement. I really enjoyed that class mainly because they were all a bit older and just really wanted to learn.
Today I actually taught a lesson on my own, which I'm not really supposed to do but well I don't think the British Council would hang me for it. Anyway, it was a 12th grade class I think and the teacher asked me if I would work with 6 other students in another room, 4 of whom had german as their second language because they either came from Kazakhstan or Russia. A challenge... hmmm well the material that their teacher gave me to do was definitely too difficult for them as well as for me seeing as I didn't have a dictionary and was having to translate sentences to do with business into german! Still in some ways it was good practise. Though I really feel for these girls who have to do their exams at the end of the year and don't even seem able to properly introduce themselves in english. The problem with most school systems is that they just can't help teenagers with an immigrant background simply because there's neither the time nor resources. Language courses at the Volkschule here in Germany, a kind of adult school, are not that expensive but still take up time and may not be seen as a necessity for young people who are meant to be getting their education in school.
Tomorrow I shall be flexing my DIY muscles and putting up a couple of bookshelves come clothes racks, as well as cleaning off an old comfy chair that a very kind friend of my housemate's has given me along with the shelves. So my room doesn't feel quite so big now and my voice doesn't echo quite as much! It isn't a highly colour coordinated room but it does have a MASSIVE map of Deutschland that my housemate also gave me... and it's a kid's one so it has lots of rather amusing pictures portraying various towns and attractions!
Another thing I haven't quite gotten used to is looking the right way when crossing the road, which proved a little scarier when I used my housemate's bike to go food shopping and almost went down the wrong side of the road! I don't really want to experience the german health system just yet. So, it's been an eventful week so far and God-willing I shall live to see the next!
Oh but the food is great! Well, it takes me a while to make my way around the supermarket because there's so many nice and shiny things, or interesting names for things like 'baking powder' (Backpulver if you're interested). Trouble is I couldn't remember it when I went to the shop this evening so I fruitlessly scanned the aisles. But it certainly makes shopping fun!
The only thing that was slightly confusing was the european shoe and clothes' size, which meant I had to try on a million coats before I found the right size. 20 minutes later, like a typical woman some would say, I left the shop still without a coat. Indecision, we've all been there.
School is fun. Maybe that's just because I'm not a pupil! I participated in a banking class yesterday, just going around and checking work. The students have a few lessons a week on the theory of banking and also learn business english, which even I found hard, and then they spend a month or so I think on a placement. I really enjoyed that class mainly because they were all a bit older and just really wanted to learn.
Today I actually taught a lesson on my own, which I'm not really supposed to do but well I don't think the British Council would hang me for it. Anyway, it was a 12th grade class I think and the teacher asked me if I would work with 6 other students in another room, 4 of whom had german as their second language because they either came from Kazakhstan or Russia. A challenge... hmmm well the material that their teacher gave me to do was definitely too difficult for them as well as for me seeing as I didn't have a dictionary and was having to translate sentences to do with business into german! Still in some ways it was good practise. Though I really feel for these girls who have to do their exams at the end of the year and don't even seem able to properly introduce themselves in english. The problem with most school systems is that they just can't help teenagers with an immigrant background simply because there's neither the time nor resources. Language courses at the Volkschule here in Germany, a kind of adult school, are not that expensive but still take up time and may not be seen as a necessity for young people who are meant to be getting their education in school.
Tomorrow I shall be flexing my DIY muscles and putting up a couple of bookshelves come clothes racks, as well as cleaning off an old comfy chair that a very kind friend of my housemate's has given me along with the shelves. So my room doesn't feel quite so big now and my voice doesn't echo quite as much! It isn't a highly colour coordinated room but it does have a MASSIVE map of Deutschland that my housemate also gave me... and it's a kid's one so it has lots of rather amusing pictures portraying various towns and attractions!
Another thing I haven't quite gotten used to is looking the right way when crossing the road, which proved a little scarier when I used my housemate's bike to go food shopping and almost went down the wrong side of the road! I don't really want to experience the german health system just yet. So, it's been an eventful week so far and God-willing I shall live to see the next!
Thursday 2 September 2010
Amazed by God's goodness
I haven't realy had a lot of time, or rather enough internet access to be able to blog recently, so I feel like I have loads to say but don't quite know how to say it! Expect this in a few installments...
Since arriving in Germany last tuesday I have been astounded at how much God cares for me. I can't even remember all the times He answered prayer for things like safe travel, finding accommodation, meeting people and making friends, language skills, finding a church etc. The build up to going away was quite stressful at times and I'll admit that I was often quite short with my parents. But I thank God that they are so supportive.
There is still loads of official type stuff to do and I really feel like I haven't stopped since I got here. The induction I've just been on in Cologne took up most of this week and to be honest I feel shattered- bring on the 5.30 am start tomorrow...
I have to admit that today as I was pulling away from Cologne I started to get the first twinges of a bit of homesickness, not for my county, as I've never been particularly patriotic, but for my friends and family. At times over the last week I have felt lonely and certainly exasperated with my lack of language knowledge. But then I realised earlier just how selfish I've been. To be honest most of my prayers have been about me. Yet after reading a few emails and catching up with others at the induction I realise just how many others are having a worse a time of it! How it is so easy to forget that the world, other than your own personalised one, still exists and there are many people who need prayer. Reading 'Help, my halo's slipping' by Larry Dinkins lately has been particularly helpful too, but reading his account of missionary work in Thailand makes me realise just how little I really pray for others and yet how essential that is to the work.
Anyway, will write more later but am off to read and get an early night.
Since arriving in Germany last tuesday I have been astounded at how much God cares for me. I can't even remember all the times He answered prayer for things like safe travel, finding accommodation, meeting people and making friends, language skills, finding a church etc. The build up to going away was quite stressful at times and I'll admit that I was often quite short with my parents. But I thank God that they are so supportive.
There is still loads of official type stuff to do and I really feel like I haven't stopped since I got here. The induction I've just been on in Cologne took up most of this week and to be honest I feel shattered- bring on the 5.30 am start tomorrow...
I have to admit that today as I was pulling away from Cologne I started to get the first twinges of a bit of homesickness, not for my county, as I've never been particularly patriotic, but for my friends and family. At times over the last week I have felt lonely and certainly exasperated with my lack of language knowledge. But then I realised earlier just how selfish I've been. To be honest most of my prayers have been about me. Yet after reading a few emails and catching up with others at the induction I realise just how many others are having a worse a time of it! How it is so easy to forget that the world, other than your own personalised one, still exists and there are many people who need prayer. Reading 'Help, my halo's slipping' by Larry Dinkins lately has been particularly helpful too, but reading his account of missionary work in Thailand makes me realise just how little I really pray for others and yet how essential that is to the work.
Anyway, will write more later but am off to read and get an early night.
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