Well, I've come to the end of another week-my fourth in Germany! And I have to say that I have been humbled by how God has taken care of so much, even the things that I didn't really think or pray about but which He knew I needed.
So often I categorise my prayers. I begin mostly talking about ME. 'Lord, I really don't like/understand what's going on. Please could you change the situation?'. 'Lord, I have this humongous, fat, juicy problem that is really stopping ME from doing what I want. Please make it go away!' 'Lord, I realise that you want to deal with me first, that's why I'm not spending as much time praying for others.'- notice the justification for being selfish!
Ok, so it's not that God doesn't care about me, because it is right that I take my petitions to Him. I need to keep short accounts with the Lord so that I don't lose my joy in Christ because of sin that's not been dealt with. Neither do I want to become spiritually dry and so simply go through the motions, because I've neglected spending time in the quiet just speaking with God. Nor is it right that I keep things from the Lord that really are burdening me and feel heavy. Doesn't the Lord say that He will give us rest from our burdens and peace in Him when we do bring our petitions before Him? Matthew 11:28-30. In fact, Philippians 4:6-7 has been in my mind almost every day since arriving in Germany and starting out afresh.
'do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus.'
How amazing is that 'peace which surpasses all understanding'!!
Yet, as a woman who still sins and is still very selfish at heart I have felt the Lord gently rebuking me this week. I had a chat to my Dad on the phone yesterday who updated me on family stuff, church, friends, neighbours etc. I was very saddened by some of the news, some of which was about people I've known for a long time. Other bits and bobs were good to hear, some was interesting, and of course hearing of my brother's tendency to forget important things was rather amusing for me as his sister...
But what I really felt God hitting home to me was how easy it is to become very self-centred in thoughts and prayers. I easily justify only praying for myself. I admit, and shamefully so, that it can be a chore to pray for others or at least even to remember to pray for others! That's how selfish the human heart is!
But that verse in Philippians, as always, is not just to be lifted out and cherished as a justification for personal and selfish prayer. In only 2:3-4 it says, 'Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.' Why? Because Christ 'humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross' 2v8. If Christ looked to the interests of others in the ultimate sense, in dying for unworthy sinners to cleanse, heal and justify them, then I, for the very fact that I am now saved by what Jesus has done, ought to have the same mind and the same heart.
I confess, I fail miserably. But I do believe that the first step on the road to actively doing things for others out of a motivation of love, is by first praying for them. I thank God that He is showing me how selfish I am so that I can confess this sin and be changed by the work of the Holy Spirit.
On a more practical level, there is now a sheet of paper stuck to my wall where I write down those who are in need of prayer. I always think it good to have practical application so I am hopeful that this little but simple aid will help to focus my mind more on the needs of others!
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